It's no secret that I read a lot; pretty much exclusively in the M/M genre. For those that aren't aware that's Men/Men, ie. gay. If that offends your delicate sensibilities then leave. Now. With that disclaimer out of the way let's move on shall we?
There are a lot of things about this genre that I love, but the flip-side to that is list of things that make me, and any sensible reader, cringe. Any one who knows me and my reading habits knows that I'm somewhat of a book snob. I like plot. A lot. I don't read a book because of the sex scenes. I read a book because of it's characters and it's plot. Call me crazy, but to me those are the most important things. I've flounced books before because SEX was the only thing going on. Your characters don't NEED to fuck every other paragraph; it distracts from your story. This is a big thing in the M/M genre that, quite frankly, pisses me off because it plays into a stereotype of gay men: that we're all about the sex and not about relationships. Authors may not realize what they're doing, but by playing into this stereotype they're no different than those who type-cast us in the first place. I've noticed that while many speak out for equality with their words, their actions say something entirely different. It's unfortunate, but it's true.
The point of this post? Be mindful of how you interact with us (gay/bi men). We weren't put on this planet to be your besties, to design your clothes, or to decorate your houses. Our purpose is the same as any straight person's; to enjoy life, to find love, and to live a full and happy existence. Progress has been made recently to give us the equal rights that we deserve, let's keep that momentum going.
Sound off if you agree or disagree!
As far as books go I have always loved a slow burn. I revel in the intensity of it. I don't write M/M I do write HET I don't write for the purpose to get my readers off. I can't write anything if it doesn't have a plot. Many times I have been snapped at for not letting my characters get to the good stuff. Huh, I was under the impression that the story itself was the good stuff. As far as M/M goes I do read it and love it. But, yes like you I too value the plot and substance, not just the sex.
ReplyDeleteWhen it comes to equality, well, it isn't equality if I treat a gay or bisexual person better then a hetero sexual person just so I can have the privileged of saying, "So my gay friend and I..." Equality is exactly as it sounds. All the same. Great post.
So much truth in there. :)
ReplyDeleteI love your picture!
ReplyDeleteI like that you pointed this out... "because it plays into a stereotype of gay men: that we're all about the sex and not about relationships." It's a stereotype that I heard/learned growing up and not from any one particular person. Thankfully, I was smart enough to reason out the truth on my own, but it's hard to believe people can be that ignorant. And just plain sad.
I've read my fair share of het and m/m PWP, and while I love a hot sex scene, I don't have time to read the stuff that's only about sex and usually flounce to move onto something better. Not to mention, the best sex scenes are back up with real emotions to move the plot forward. That's where all the feels come in.
Have fun with your blog!