My Story

I was mentioned in a very touching status update on Facebook yesterday by Eileen Griffin. 

"I’m also in awe of people like Jordan Christopher who was brave enough to come out to his super-conservative family and stand up for his beliefs in a very out loud and visible way."

This got me wondering how many of you actually know my story. Some of you may know I recently came out to my family, but most don't know anything about my family or how I was raised. Which leads me to this blog post. This isn't a story...this is my life. Hope you enjoy.

I was born into a stereotypical Southern family. I was surrounded by the racism and bigotry pretty much from day one. Words like n****r and f****t weren't out of the ordinary for me to hear growing up. One thing I distinctly remember is my 12th birthday. My grandfather (my mother's father) pulled me to the side and told me "You can do whatever you want, but if you ever bring a n****r home as your girlfriend, I'll beat you senseless." So...yeah. You see what I grew up with. 

My family has always been very religious. I was dragged to church from the time I could walk up until I moved out on my own. I was enrolled in a Baptist run school from Kindergarden right on through my senior year of high school. Everyone's beliefs were repeatedly crammed down my throat, but I was never one to just accept things that easily. I'm inquisitive. I like to like that question most parents hate...why? Why should I believe this? Prove to me that Christianity and it's god  and moral code is correct and I'll believe it. That got me labeled as a trouble maker in school. Which was fine with me. 

My parents divorced when I was 12, and myself and my younger brother went to live with my mother. Worst mistake I've ever made in my life honestly. She remarried within months of the divorce being finalized, and to say that I didn't get along with her new husband would be a grave understatement. He's one of those types of people that has to control everything around them, including the people. That never sat well with me. My mother is not very independent. She's quite content to have people, namely him, think for her. Thank god that is not something I inherited from her. He and I butted heads many times over the next 8 years. He was just as racist and homophobic as the rest of my family. He used to tease me all the time that I was gay, because I liked to eat vegetables, or because I wore a purple shirt, or because my jeans were tight, etc. It always pissed him off that I blew his comments off, because quite frankly I didn't give a flying fuck what he thought of me. Not to mention I never saw 'gay' as an insult. My mother was constantly on me about getting along with him, or apologizing for something that I didn't do. Finally she just left me alone, and chalked it up to me being rebellious. 

It was around the time of my parent's divorce that I started to question my sexuality. Having never met a gay person and hearing all about how it was wrong, I felt there was no one I could talk to about it, so I kept it to myself. I was confused. I was angry. I was resentful. I found myself being attracted to both sexes, which to someone who had never heard the term 'bisexual' just added to my confusion. I felt like I was abnormal, like there was something wrong with me. It would take me eight years before I finally felt at peace with myself and admitted my sexual orientation to someone.

I was twenty when I first came out to a few of my friends. It felt...liberating, like a little bit of weight was lifted off my chest. There was nothing but positive reactions, sprinkled with the occasional "I know, but I'm glad you finally admitted it."  Over the next two years I told more and more of my friends, or simply quit trying to hide it. My family was the only group of people in my life that didn't know about me. 

Some of you may remember, but National Coming Out Day was October 11. As cliche' as it sounds, I chose this day to step fully out of the proverbial closet and announce to the world, or at least to my Facebook friends, that I was bisexual. I posted my peace and logged out. The next day my Step Mother approached me about it. My father hadn't seen it yet, but she had found out from her daughter and son (my step siblings). She didn't understand it, but thankfully wasn't upset. I sat down with her and my dad later that night and explained that I was bisexual. Of course I got the typical questions that everyone seems to ask about bisexuality. They never once rejected me. They simply asked questions, trying to gain a better understanding. My step brother and sister have a step brother (follow me?) that is gay and has a boyfriend, so I wasn't their first exposure to a LGBT person. The following weeks were a little awkward when I was around them. I acted no different than I had before, but I think it took them some time to realize that I was the same person I was before...they just simply knew me better now.  

There have been a few people to comment on status' that I post supporting marriage equality. I reply back, logically explaining why I believe that we deserve equal rights and surprisingly...no one has come back with a rebuttal. I'm kind of disappointed actually. I love a good debate. Several have asked why I don't just move to a more liberal state that allows same sex marriage and my answer is always this: I want to be a part of the movement that changes things here in NC. Moving feels too much like running away to me, and I'm not ok with that.

So...that's my story and I'm sticking to it.